Deliver Us from Weasels

Essays and Musings by
John Grooms

Charlotte’s Voice of Alternative Journalism for Over 20 Years

ISBN 13: 978-1-59948-217-0
252 pages, $14.95

* * *Projected release date: November 10, 2009.

 

About the Author / Comments / Preface / Sample


About the Author


John Grooms is a multiple award-winning writer and editor, as well as teacher, public speaker, event organizer, music lover, rock history fanatic, husband, father, recovering worrywart, conflicted Catholic, pastry hound and incurable smartass. He has lived in Charlotte since 1976, was editor of Creative Loafing in Charlotte from 1988 until 2005, and has been a featured columnist for the newspaper since then. During his tenure at CL, the newspaper won more than 40 state, regional and national journalism awards. Grooms is the "tragicomic product" of a bilingual postwar home in a small South Carolina town, interspersed with spurts of living in Brussels, Belgium. He?s overweight, often profane, has been called a "progressive populist" among other, worse names, and on most days would rather be at the beach.

 



Comments

Tommy Tomlinson, award-winning columnist for The Charlotte Observer:
Grooms can write -- you can enjoy these pieces just for the language -- but he never stops there; he leaves you with something to think about every time. It's like having supper with a friend and coming home to find an extra twenty in your pocket.

 

Hal Crowther, H.L. Mencken Award-winning essayist, and author of Gather At The River and Cathedrals of Kudzu:
Raised in Gaffney, S.C, John Grooms grew up to become one of those wise and generous observers whose wry native take on Southernness is our best answer to Yankee condescension and stereotyping. My admiration for Grooms, long Charlotte's lonely voice of reason, has nothing to do with the fact that I almost always agree with him. From Elvis to James Brown, from losing Jesse Helms to legalizing marijuana, these essays are deeply felt and often personal, but never indiscreet. They map a personal journey; they also paint a convincing portrait of all of us, his aging contemporaries, as we were and as we are.

 

Judy Goldman, author of Early Leaving:
For years John Grooms was the conscience of the Queen City. Now we're lucky to have his essays in a book that we can read and reread, consider, contemplate, and learn from. His point of view is always complex and fully realized, and he cuts right to the heart. This book is starkly funny, playful, smart -- and above all, compassionate. I want to put it in the hands of everyone I know.

 

Ann Wicker, editor, Making Notes: Music of the Carolinas:
In his career as a writer and editor, John Grooms hasn't been afraid to plunge in where other writers may fear to tread. Whether he is skewering a dumb move by local politicians or penning a thoughtful look at the career of someone like singer Dusty Springfield, he makes you laugh, cry and think, sometimes in the same sentence.

 

George W. Bush, former U.S. President:
John Grooms is an erudite gentleman whose insights and sparkling wit have provided me with many an evening of delightful reading. In other words, he makes ya think -- but not too hard. I like that.

 


Preface by Frye Gaillard

 

John Grooms first made his mark on Charlotte journalism as the editor of Creative Loafing, the award-winning alternative weekly that accomplished more under his leadership than anyone could reasonably have expected. At a time of troubles for daily journalism - -a reality that nibbled at the heels of even good papers like the Charlotte Observer -- Grooms made "the Loaf," as it was often called, indispensable to the public debate. He opened his pages to the city's best writers, including columnists who were willing to take a stand.

I think particularly of Hal Crowther and Jerry Klein, two commentators ready to mix it up with the most controversial issues of the time. Crowther was acerbic, cerebral and expansive -- an essayist in the finest American tradition, whose left-of-center political views were never quite pat and often took his readers by surprise. Klein was different. A progressive like Crowther in his basic point of view, he often led with his heart and even when you knew what Jerry would say, you had to admire his bravery and grit.

For more than 17 years Grooms oversaw this swirling debate, amplified in other parts of the paper by careful reporting that was sometimes quirky and often had an edge. Finally, however, he seemed to grow tired of the editor's rat race, and in 2005 he gave it up, choosing to devote himself instead to his own writing. And I have to say that in the end, this may have been John Grooms at his best.

In many ways, he proved to be more Crowther than Klein, but there was an indignation bursting from his core, as he dissected the careers of the region's public figures. With the death of U.S. Sen. Jesse Helms, for example, Grooms was appalled by the obsessive politeness of the mainline media. Deluged with the sanitized affirmations of Helms' geniality, Grooms, at last, let loose a primal scream of "Enough!"

"So far," he wrote, "state and national media haven't been forthright about the senator's corrosive influence on both state and national politics, nor have they acknowledged the extremism and vindictiveness of many of his political actions. So, in lieu of the mainstream press doing its duty, let's take a brief look at Helms' record. Warning: it's not a pretty sight."

Grooms went on to note that Helms' career sprang from the soil of segregation and never quite escaped those deep racist roots. "…He strongly opposed establishing a national holiday in honor of Martin Luther King Jr.," wrote Grooms, "because, in Helms' mind, the Nobel Peace Prize winner was a communist and a 'sex pervert.' He also stubbornly opposed any attempts to end apartheid in South Africa, and he literally turned his back on Nelson Mandela during the latter's visit to Washington, D.C."

Helms, of course, was far from alone in feeling Grooms' sting. In a column called "It's Hateful Bigotry," published in the spring of 2006, Grooms stood firm against the wave of anti-immigrant pronouncements that suddenly dominated the national airwaves. "No matter how many times," he wrote, "the anti-immigrant crowd couches the issue in terms of economics, drunk driving, nationalism or what-have-you, the root of their concern is much simpler, and much sadder. It's the old, dark, human impulse to reject and eliminate 'the other.'"

Such understandings, always frank and always consistent, permeate the pages of this collection. In 2008, Grooms wrote about the reluctance of three Charlotte school board members to stand against bullying in the public schools. (Their reasoning? A stronger ban on the practice would constitute "a pro-homosexual agenda.") He criticized Republican fear-mongering in the presidential race, George Bush's foreign policy agenda, and even the double-edged legacy of the Rev. Billy Graham.

But Grooms has been more than the village scold. One of my favorite pieces in the book is his reminiscence about Porter Wagoner, the spangled, unpretentious country music star who teamed with Dolly Parton in the 1970s to make some of the finest music in his genre. At the time, Grooms was a college student from South Carolina, conflicted about his own southern origins and unsure what to make of Porter and Dolly. When he finally met them in 1972, he was immediately impressed by their accessibility, but even more by their intelligence and wit.

"These flashy country stars," he wrote years later, "Southern through and through, were genuine, bright people; and I knew the next day I'd listen to both the Beatles and Porter and Dolly and -- finally -- it would be perfectly OK to live in my skin as a knowledgeable, sophisto-smartass who also loved our region's downhome ways."

With a candor that's often aimed at himself, Grooms has proven to be, throughout his career, a writer who knows exactly what he thinks. And as the pages of this book make clear, he isn't the least bit afraid to say what it is.

-- Frye Gaillard, 2009

Frye Gaillard, a former southern editor of the Charlotte Observer and for years a frequent contributor to Creative Loafing, is now writer in residence at the University of South Alabama. He has written or edited more than 20 books, including Cradle of Freedom: Alabama and the Movement That Changed America, winner of the Lillian Smith Award for best southern non-fiction; and With Music and Justice for All: Some Southerners and Their Passions, an inaugural selection of the Progressive Book Club.


SAMPLE

BOBCATS, GOTHS AND GOLDEN PARACHUTES
YOUR PRESSING QUESTIONS ANSWERED

Now and again, as part of the Boomer With Attitude (BWA) column, I answered questions from readers—and I made up some questions I wish I had gotten from them. All in the interest of fine alternative journalism, of course. If memory serves me, all the questions in this particular column came from yours truly.

3-01-06

Welcome to another installment of “Ask BWA.” Thanks for sending in questions, so I don’t have to go on making all of them up. Now I only make up some of them. Feel free to e-mail me your tongue-in-cheek questions about whatever issues are puzzling you. Now, let’s get on with the wisdom.

Dear BWA: My wife Jenny and I are having a big fight. We both think Wachovia exec Wallace Malone’s $134 million retirement package is obscene, even if he plans to set up a big charity with some of the loot. I say his “golden parachute” should be taken back and split among the 4,800 people who were fired when he merged SouthTrust with Wachovia. Jenny, on the other hand, says he should be roasted on a spit and fed to wild animals. We’re hardly talking to each other over this; can you help save our marriage? -- P.O.’d Populist
Dear P.O.’d: Why are you fighting? You guys have come up with two great ideas -- why not do both? Then celebrate your social conscience and imagination with a romantic night on the town. Hope this helps!

Dear BWA: I was in SouthPark Mall the other day and saw some teenagers walking around wearing what looked like old black drapes and combat boots. No stripes, no sleek polos, and not a monogram in sight -- and most of them had <nose rings>! Am I crazy or isn’t SouthPark supposed to be a haven from, uh, that kind of thing? I was thoroughly grossed out -- and a little bit scared. -- Misty Barrington
Dear Misty: Relax. What you saw were probably a group of “mall goths.” They prefer dark clothing and yes, often have piercings in various body parts, but are usually harmless. In fact, they were probably as scared of you as you were of them, especially if you were wearing a monogrammed polo. It’s true that SouthPark is usually a preppy refuge, but it’s probably not enforceable by law. The next time your whitebread shopping experience is violated, just grit your teeth, look the other way until the aliens have moved on, and tell yourself, “I’m OK, I’m rich, there may be weirdos around, but the mall is still my oyster.”

Dear BWA: Will lower ticket prices attract more fans to Bobcats games next season? - Moore For Less
Dear Moore: What if the following happened? You drive to a new restaurant where you’re expected to tip the traffic officer and spend a fortune on a parking space. After you’re finally served a meal, it turns out the food is terrible and the prices are sky-high. The restaurant starts losing customers, so the owner, after hearing many complaints, announces he has taken care of the problem: he’s cutting his prices. Would you go back?

Dear BWA: How is the Marie G. Davis “military school” concept going to work? My son is a total hellion and I’m thinking of sending him there to shape him up. -- Desperate Dad
Dear Desperate: The military magnet school, touted as a way to improve discipline at the troubled middle school, would use the US military as a template for “character education.” Details are sketchy, but I assume this means female students would be sexually harassed 24/7; school administrators would “look the other way” when students use torture during academic and athletic competitions with other schools; and low enrollment would probably result in National Guard units being called up to fill classroom seats. On the plus side, fewer students would go home hungry, since the military MRE’s (Meals, Ready-to-Eat) are a big improvement over traditional school cafeteria food.

Dear BWA: Why don’t you run something in your column like the Charlotte Observer’s limerick contest? -- Wordsmith
Dear Wordy: We would never want to imitate the daily paper, but since you brought it up, here’s a limerick I penned especially for the Big O’s contest.

In publishers’ offices lamplit,
Knight Ridder presented its gambit.
Said an editor wag,
“’F we keep shrinking this rag,
We may as well call it a pamphlet.”

Dear BWA: I moved to Fort Mill to get away from high taxes and liberal schoolteachers. Now that the South Carolina Education Oversight committee has voted to make it easier to teach intelligent design as an alternative to evolution, should I laugh at my former Charlotte neighbors? -- Not Monkeying Around
Dear Not Monkeying: I would wait awhile before laughing too much. The committee’s recommendations still need to be approved by other hicks-in-suits, and your kids could wind up being exposed to modern ideas whether you like it or not. In any case, laughter over education issues seems unwarranted in a state where schoolkids would actually be better off if unevolved apes ran the government.